However, I realized that my life was not to be dedicated to people who didn't care about me. It not even just about me. It's about making the world a better place than you left it. I wanted to change. In my depressed state I was no help to anyone. I was lost in the fog of lies. Lies from people I cared about and lies from myself. I am free now.
It took depression, betrayal, and suffering to realize the truth. I am grateful for it all. I regret none of it....not a single bit. It has made me a stronger and more open-minded person. I saw the errors of my own way. I realized I wasn't happy the way I was and wanted to be free.
Despite my depression and body image issues I fought through it all. I continued working full-time and going to school. I graduated from community college and got a scholarship to a university thanks to the support system I had and still have in my life. I traveled like I always wanted to do with the money I put aside for the friends I thought I had if they ever needed help. My friendship with one of my friends who I now consider a best friends strengthened. I realized that even though there would be people who would hate me just for being black that there would be people who would appreciate me and be interested in me as a person. I learned to love myself for who I truly was... it was magnificent.
Life did have its setbacks though. I ended up being forced to work nights due to some circumstances and evil people. I gained weight and spent all my savings because of my depression. I was involved in strange relationships. For awhile I lost myself in the chaos but in the middle of it I found a part of the real me. Now it is time to continue finding myself. I have only scratched the surface of my potential. And those who ever looked down on me better WATCH OUT!
