Do I regret even being friends with them? No. They were honestly nice people. However, they were all broken in a way and I could not fix them. I realize now that it was not my job to fix them. Maybe it was a the cultural barrier that prevented us from working through our problems. Or maybe it was our dependence on each other to get away from the world that was way to painful to deal with. Either way I honestly wish them the best with all my heart. Because after all friendships are another type of relationship where feelings are exchanged.
Our friendship was like a young 9 year long love affair that ran its course. It should have ended awhile ago but people were afraid to talk and afraid of hurting feeling. They just kept everything inside without letting the others know how they really felt. The pain and frustration just kept building out until if finally reached its peak and exploded. In the end the walls of the glass house came shattering down. Violent words were spewed and no closure was to be found.
I have come to realize while I was constantly and rapidly evolving and changing from my 12 year old self it seemed like they were growing at a snails pace. They still do not know the real beauty and ugliness that the real world will throw at you. While I who began a real 8 hour 5 day a week job at 18, had more dating experience, and was learning more things about myself and my culture continued to grow. Some of them still have yet to date or even have a first kiss or even have a real job. (We are all 22)
I have come to realize while I was constantly and rapidly evolving and changing from my 12 year old self it seemed like they were growing at a snails pace. They still do not know the real beauty and ugliness that the real world will throw at you. While I who began a real 8 hour 5 day a week job at 18, had more dating experience, and was learning more things about myself and my culture continued to grow. Some of them still have yet to date or even have a first kiss or even have a real job. (We are all 22)
The important thing to learn from this is to be open and honest. Share what you are really feeling. Your friends aren't mind readers. Even if you are afraid that others might be hurt. Even if you are afraid that you will be hurt. If a friendship is true and worthwhile then there should be no worry. Your friends should accept you for YOU. You shouldn't have to wear a mask and pretend to be something you are not around them. At the end of the day be true to YOU. Because your emotional state is the only one you have control of. And if you are in a good mood your mood will transfer to the ones around you.
I bid you all farewell. If I were to run into any of you one day I honestly don't know how I would react. However, I know it wouldn't be from a hateful place. Maybe I would smile or wave or simply pretend I don't know you. Only the future will tell.
Now what shall I do with my new found freedom??? :3
Now what shall I do with my new found freedom??? :3
Quote of the day:
-unknown
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